We're going to need some more Midol over here. Can we get that in IV form?

Ah, skip it. Let's just go straight to the Morphine drip. PLEASE. Even as I write this, the pain is ripping through my abdomen like a thousand knives. Nothing down there feels right at this very moment. Inhaling hurts. And, oh! Yes, exhaling hurts too. AF, you are a cruel bitch mother. I shake my fist at you! I'm glad I haven't eaten yet, because I'm fairly certain that cramping like this would make me vomit. Alright, I'm off to curl up in a ball and more than likely, cry myself back to sleep, though I don't know whether it will be from the pain or the disappointment.