I am thankful...

I am thankful for the miracle that is growing inside of me.
I am thankful for the chronic back pain, headaches, and general icky feelings.
I am thankful for my husband, who I take foregranted far too often.
I am thankful for my wonderful friends, who have supported me through so much.
I am thankful that there is food in my fridge, water in my pipes, and heat in my house.
I am thankful for my cat and dog, who love me whether I am pretty or not.

It's amazing to me. I have lived 24 years on this planet, and I don't think I ever realized the point of Thanksgiving. Oh, I know the point is to "Give Thanks", but I don't think that I ever really thought about what I was thankful for. I have so much in my life and yet I constantly feel unsatisfied. This year, I really feel that I can look at what I have and truly be thankful.
As much as it sucked to have to try so long to get pregnant, I can look back and really appreciate the effort that we had to put into it. I can really appreciate the miracle that had been bestowed upon me and find happiness in it. After being on thenest.com and meeting other women online who are suffering through fertility issues, I will never take my child or my pregnancy foregranted. I will cherish every moment of it, and I really wish the best of luck to all the women out there who are trying to get pregnant. Babies to all of you!

I'm not really sure if it's necessary to point this out, but I have obviously started to become very emotional. For some reason, I cry at commercials. Now, for some odd reason, the Brinks Home Security commercials have always gotten me a little teary-eyed, but for the past few weeks, I practically sob when I see one. I think it's because home invasion really hits home for me. I have never had my home broken into or anything, but I can just imagine how horrible that would be. Sigh. I know, I'm strange.

Let's get to the facts:
Day: 78
Days Left: 202
Feeling: I finally feel like my morning sickness is beginning to subside. My appetite is still very tempermental, but it's improving. I was actually able to make a couple pies tonight.
Mood: Still very tired.
Just Noticed: It's 11:30 and I'm still awake! Gold star for me!

I got the most amazing smelling bath salts the other day. So today, I pulled out the rubber gloves and Soft Scrub and scrubbed the bath tub. I'm waiting for a phone call from drunk husband, so I'm not hopping in the tub tonight. I know that the minute I get in, the phone will ring. It just gives me something to look forward to tomorrow night when I get home from Turkey Day Drama. Like I said earlier, I also made a couple pies for tomorrow, and I cleaned up the entire kitchen, which I've been meaning to do for a long time.
If I feel ambitious tomorrow, I will make muffins, and vacuum upstairs, and clear off the catch-all of a kitchen counter.

Well, I'm finally starting to nod off, so I'm going to snuggle up on the couch and maybe rub Chip's little doggie chin and fall asleep until DH (stands for drunk husband tonight!) is ready to be picked up!

Happy Thanksgiving to all!

I should be in forensics

I've been watching a lot of CSI lately and I feel like I am on to the bad guys way before the CSI people. Either their foreshadowing is totally unsubliminal or I am really smart. Anyways, on to the good stuff!

Day: 71
Days Left: 209
Feeling: Still just okay. Icky feelings come and go, light-headedness is getting more frequent, I think I have low blood sugar or something. Right now I have a headache and all I have is extra strength Tylenol, which I'm not allowed to take.
Mood: Extremely tired.
Recent Cravings: No real cravings. Until about 2 or 3 p.m., the thought of any food pretty much turns my stomach.
Just Noticed: I look poochier at night than during the day. When I wake up, I can't even tell that there's a bump, but by the time I go to bed, I'm huge. See picture below for evidence!

Here are my 10 week pictures, which I forgot to take in the morning, so you'll note the big-ness of the belly.

I can't wait to get a belly that's a little more pregnant looking. Right now, I feel like I'm at the awkward stage of "Is she pregnant or is she getting fat?".

I am the laziest person alive.

When does 'nesting' start? I would like to have the motivation to actually get up off my couch and clean the house. That is not the case though. Instead I watch movies all day long. I keep telling myself that I'll start doing the dishes or the laundry in 30 minutes.

Either way, here's the updates.

First, the 9 week pictures. Chip wanted to help.

Day: 68

Days Left: 212

Feeling: Alright. I'm hungry and nothing sounds good. Nothing.

Mood: Lonely and lazy. H is hunting all weekend, so I'm all by myself. It's funny how I just miss the presence of someone else being here, even though we wouldn't necessarily be doing something together.

Recent Cravings: Hot dogs from The Corner Bar. But I shouldn't have hot dogs, so I'm trying not to think about it.

Just Noticed: My lips are chapped.

I went to IKEA yesterday and spent $30. Much better than the insane amount of money I spent last year. I bought a bunny. It's the cutest stuffed bunny with big floppy ears. If the baby is a girl, it will match the nursery bedding I have picked out perfectly. It was my first baby purchase! The dog has been eyeing it all morning. It's taunting him. Ha.

So, I had my appointment with a nurse on Tuesday just to do paperwork. Now, mind you, I went to the doctor when I was 2 weeks PG to confirm and they just said yup, you're knocked up, see you around. So, at NINE weeks I go to this appointment and they give me this massive packet of information. I am three quarters of the way through my first trimester and the majority of the baby's critical development has already taken place, and they JUST NOW give me information about what to eat, what not to eat, things I can and can't do, medicine I can and can't take, etc. Thanks a heap, doc. You didn't have to go over it all with me, I have the ability to read. Quite well. Even the big words. Now, I am one of those compulsive people who looks up everything on the internet (webmd is my friend), so I am certain I have done/ate/taken nothing that would endanger my baby, but what if I wasn't like that? You'd be surprised how many people are blissfully uninformed and prefer to stay that way. People at work who are surprised that I will not drink at all during my pregnancy. People who don't understand why I don't want to bartend with people smoking all over me. People who have recently had a baby and don't know why I won't put lunchmeat on my sandwich or eat a hot dog or put feta cheese on something. BAHH. And I know that most of these things are done "just to be safe", but I would much rather be safe than sorry. I couldn't sleep thinking that I had done something potentially unsafe for my baby, knowing full-well that it was not the best choice I could have made.

Sorry. Rant over. Promise. Oh, the point of the whole story was that the nurse told me I shouldn't lift more than 10 lbs. 10! That is a whole lot of nothing. I already feel like an invalid at work, unable to carry large trays of food or get ice or do anything else that involves lifting. The movie I'm watching is talking about tuna pasta and it sounds amazing. But I don't even like tuna, pregnant or not. I'm going to go raid the fridge.

"And if it is any consolation, I have heartburn that is radiating in my kneecaps, and I haven't taken a dump since Wednesday...morning."

Ah, Juno, how I now understand your pain. Thanks for being OnDemand and keeping me company at my bi-daily "Am I or Am I Not Going to Puke" Parties. Appreciate the support.

Day: 65
Days Left: 215
Feeling: Pretty decent today, no real urge to vomit. Very very tired.
Mood: Alright. I was a bitch to a lady at work today, so that meets my quota.
Recent Cravings: Still loving the Pop-tarts and icy cold milk. H brought me Ranch Pringles today which are exceptionally elusive in MI, so I was a happy girl.
Just Noticed: It's really windy outside.

Day 64

Stats:
Day: 64
Days Left: 216
Feeling: Still a little yucky, nausea comes and goes, sort of hungry at the moment
Mood: Very emotional, the Brinks Home Security commercials make me bawl
Recent Cravings: Pop-tarts (strawberry and smores), and ice cold milk (like milk with ice in it)
Just Noticed: I am exhausted

I have a couple week 9 pictures, but I am way to lazy to get off the couch and get my camera. Sorry folks, you're just going to have to wait. Strange how I can have a craving, eat something else, and then whatever I originally wanted sounds absolutely disgusting later. I am forgetful and scatter-brained; the nurse I saw at my appointment yesterday said that it would only get worse. So...something to look forward to then? Great! Currently I feel like the majority of my food gets stuck before it reaches my stomach. There's a perma-blob of something that is below my throat, right in the underboob vicinity. Odd.

Gotta go...talking about Pop-tarts and ice-cold milk has given me a great idea. The only question; strawberry or smores? Only time will tell.

My raspberry is making me sick.

According to thenest.com, my baby is the size of a raspberry. Amazing how things change so rapidly in your body. Amazing.

These are my pictures from Tuesday, November 4th, at officially 8 weeks! So far, all that's noticeable is my little food baby!

I have had some morning sickness for the last two weeks, but I actually felt relatively normal today, so let's hope that the baby has heard my pleas and is taking it easy on me!

8 weeks 3 days

Time to update!

Well, it's official! I'm pregnant!

I took my last month of Clomid with no real hope of it working for me. I called my doctor and got a referral to a fertility specialist. We had an appointment for Monday, October 6. I did not chart the month of September, but now knowing my cycle, I still made sure we were trying around the right time.

Fast forward to the end of September. I felt my period coming. I had cramps and all the classic signs. I told H that AF was coming. Boo. The only thing that seemed different was that my back was killing me. I had never had any kind of back pain in my life, so it seemed a little odd. Although the Clomid gave me increasingly horrible cramps and other side effects, so I didn't really find it that off. I just kept waiting for AF. H went to Chicago for a week for work and that Friday I was up early before work. I was so frustrated and was trying not to think that I could be PG, because I really didn't believe it.

I decided to test that morning, simply to get rid of the HPT that was sitting in my drawer. Of course when I opened it, I realized that I had bought the 'Buy One, Get One Free' pack, so I would still have one left. Damn! Oh well, I still decided to do it. I took the test and went downstairs to sort some laundry for later. A few minutes later, I went upstairs and peeked. The immediate events are a little fuzzy, but I'm pretty sure I jumped back against the wall and gasped. I was laughing and smiling and crying all at the same time. I was so amazed. But still skeptical.

I told my husband later that night and he was very very excited. I called and cancelled our appointment at the fertility clinic and instead made an appointment with an OB