Not nearly as mad as I should be...and that makes me mad.

Ok...first of all, Merry late Christmas to everyone! I hope you all had great holidays!

Second of all, whoever voted that I am having a genderless beast (Sunshine?), you suck.

Third of all, yes, I know, I am like seven weeks behind on pictures (ok, two), but I am much too lazy to put them up right now. Deal.

So, let's get to it.

Day: 109
Days Left: 171
Feeling: I believe that I am fighting a slight cold. I have a runny nose, the sniffles, and my chronic headaches have returned. I thought that they were gone...I went a few days without them, but now they are back.
Mood: A little tempermental. Not outwardly, but I have fought the urge to tell H to F off a couple times...which I do not speak like that to people, so I think the thought surprised me enough to make me not say it.
Recent Cravings: Nothing.
Just Noticed: I woke up this morning with the feeling that my insides were getting squished. It was the strangest feeling. It has since subsided a little, but I still feel it. I mean, it makes sense. What was once the size of my fist is now much bigger. The baby is as big as an orange this week.

So...what am I not as mad about as I should be? And not being mad is making me mad? Let me explain. My MIL is not married. She has been dating a man for years and years and years. He moved out of state a few years ago. Since then, she has dated several other men without breaking up with BF #1 first. They have finally seperated. Now, I do not know the whole story, but she apparently called BF#1 while he was on his way home for Christmas, and told him that she was not interested in him and she was seeing someone else.

None of this is upsetting to me. No, I don't approve of her dating more than one person at a time, but it is neither my business or my place. Once my baby is born, I will have a say in who is around, but that is a horse of a different color. Anyways, I was working the other day and I ran into EX-BF#1.
This is the conversation we had:
HIM: "So, Christmas at your house this year, huh?"
ME (thinking he was kidding): "Ha. Nooo...."
HIM: "You're not having Christmas at your house?"
ME (confused): "No."
HIM: "Oh, well that's where (MIL) said she was going to be all day. She said you were doing Christmas at your house."
:::Crickets chirp:::
ME (Now trying to backtrack, unsure of what's going on): "Uh, well, I guess I haven't really talked to H about it yet...maybe we're having something at our house. I guess I don't really know what's going on."

He didn't buy it. So there's strike #1 for MIL. Then in the course of the conversation, he congratulates me on being pregnant, it's the first time he's seen me since we told people.
Here's that conversation:
HIM: "So, the fertility medicine worked for ya, huh?"
ME (confused because we didn't tell anyone I was on fert. meds... thinking that maybe H accidentally let it slip or something): "Uh, yeah...it all worked out."
HIM: "You didn't know that we knew about the medicine, huh?"
ME (thinking that oh yeah, H must have blurted it out and then told them not to tell): "No, we didn't really tell anyone."
HIM: "Oh, well the only reason I know that is because we were over at your house one day to feed the dog and (MIL) was snooping. She found your medicine in the bathroom and knew what it was. She was really excited that you two were trying."
ME: I'm sure my face said it all
HIM (appearing to back-peddle at this point) "Yeah, your medicine was right out on the counter and she saw it."

Strike #2 and #3, MIL. That's so wrong it counts as two.
Let's review. Now, I could care less if she wants to lie to people about where she is and what she's doing. But there is no excuse for putting me in the middle of it, and the more I think about it, the more mad I am at myself for not totally outing her right then and there. No, we are not having Christmas. I don't know what she's talking about...something. I will not back-track or be elusive with information any more when it comes to her personal affairs in regards to her using us as an alibi. Uh-uh, lady. Done.
And okay, I understand it's normal human response to snoop a little. I get it. We've all been there. BUT... I know for a fact that I never left my medicine out on the counter. I was only on it for 5 days a month, and I was very careful to put my meds/PNV in my drawer when anyone was coming over, especially MIL or FIL. So that is a lie. She snooped in my drawer. She read the name on the prescription label. It is none of her business what medicine I am on- ever- at all. No matter what was wrong with me, whether I choose to share it with her or not is my business, and H's business in this case. He totally agreed with me that this did not need to be public knowledge and was just as discreet about our TTC as I was, if not more.
Now, in regards to snooping etiquette, let me just reiterate; we all snoop. Everyone has done it. But there's a certain etiquette to it. You snoop, you discover, you know, you keep quiet. You do not share the fact that you snooped or the fruits of that search with other people. You do not snoop when other people are with you. These are rules, not guidelines. RULES.
So anyways, MIL should be walking around with a bounty on her head right now, and she is instead totally not on my radar. I think it's because I did get pregnant and everything is fine. Had I not gotten PG and were still trying and found this out, I may have ripped her head off. Also, it's around the holidays, a very special time for me. And, I am just way too tired to care right now.
But I should. I should totally call her out on it and tell her what I think, and be irrate, and then blame it on pregnancy hormones and what-not, but I just can't...which is what makes me mad.

SIGH. Bitch fail.

I told DH all of this and he was not very happy about it, but I doubt he will say anything about it. We'll see. I will be very careful in the future, though. I will not trust her alone in this house again for quite some time. And if...IF...I ever do, I may plant some things in my drawer or around the house for her to find. Any suggestions?

15 weeks 4 days