I am scared.

So, even though I don't post every day on thenest.com, I go there pretty often. I just pop in when I'm not busy or have a couple extra minutes. And I have to tell you that while I love it there, all these women suffering miscarriages scares the heck out of me. I read that someone got PG, and then a couple weeks later, I read that they miscarried. Sometimes it brings me to tears, sometimes I cry. I think it's so heart-breaking. And I know that while finding out I'm PG will be the happiest moment in my life, I know that the next minute will be filled with sheer panic. I mean, so many of these women, and other women, do not do anything wrong. It's not their fault. There is nothing that they could have ever done to prevent this from happening. I just feel like when I first started thinking about TTC, I knew it was a possibility, and it happened. That's obvious. But I guess the numbers just seem so high. According to my sources, the probability of a miscarriage is 20%. But, it could be higher (40-50%) because some women miscarry before they even know they're PG, and don't really know that they have, in fact, miscarried. So, even if you just consider the 20%, that's still an alarming number to me. Every cycle, with perfectly timed sex and all, you have a 20% chance of getting pregnant. Then you have the same odds of miscarrying your child? Frightening. Very frightening. I have just found another site that says the odds are more like 10%. Still scary to me. And then, if you have a miscarriage, your odds of having another one are higher.
But, I am really putting the cart in front of the horse here. I need to just not think about this until the timing is appropriate.
In other news, I have been considering getting another tattoo, and I am now seriously looking into it. I want another one. I've got a pretty good idea of what I want, and anyone who knows me, or has read any of my blog, knows that waiting is not my thing.